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Kurt Donald Cobain
(February 20, 1967 – April 5, 1994)
Passionate, enigmatic, sensitive, creative, soulful and sweet. Those words describe the elusive artist, a sex symbol in music, yet so uncomfortable with his fame and living in his skin but so very comfortable when he sang to his fans.
And sang well he did.
I didn't pay much attention to Nirvana or Cobain growing up as a kid. I was more into female artists and when a girl in my keyboarding class had a tattoo engraved on her outer hand of Kurt Cobain, I thought to myself, "now there's a ballsey chick--and obviously a passionate devotee."
I am more into punk rock. I have fostered a deep appreciation for Ian McKaye (Washington, D.C.'s Fugazi front-man) and Gavin Rossdale and Thom Yorke, but if someone of you know me, I am attracted to Rossdale and Yorke more for their Line of Siam (or Simian Line to other palm readers). But don't get me wrong. Even if they didn't have that damn line, I would still be drawn to their voice and their music. It's just a little more interesting when a person has that peculiar line running straight across their palm.
From a woman's perspective, the line of Siam on a man is similar to the cat-eye of Olivia Wilde or Megan Fox (brachydactyly thumb, be damned). See pictures below:
Maybe I am speaking just for myself when I say this: I would agree with Fox. I would *probably* do a lot more than *just* strangle a moutain ox with my bare hands for Wilde. But that's me.
But this post wasn't to rant about the intelligence and beauty of these two women (and they are smart and witty, I've seen them in action and on talk shows), nor is it to pay hommage to McKay, Rossdale, or Yorke. It's to pay remembrance to Cobain: the legendary grungey rock star that as a quote from a woman I once read: "snowboarding to 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' is one of the raddest ways to spend a winter's day in Collingwood (or Tremblant, or Whistler or Blackcombe). Or enter your favourite snowboarding/ski villa.
When I first heard Nirvana, probably posthumously to his rise to fame, I remember wondering what the big deal was? Sure, he could rock and he was a tortured musician (like many are) and he married a sexy (and I say that term V-E-R-Y loosely) blonde rocker (Courtney Love) but where was the underground hype?
Then I dug a little deeper. I read of his self-loathing, his disfunctional relationship with his step-dad while growing up (that angers me so much when I found out his step-dad would hit Cobain's mom) after his parents divorce. And I also found this on wikipedia. (sourced February 20, 2012) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain
Cobain befriended a homosexual student at school, and suffered bullying from heterosexual students who concluded that Cobain was gay. In an interview he said that he liked having the identity of being gay because he didn't like people and when they thought he was gay they left him alone. Kurt stated, "I started being really proud of the fact that I was gay even though I wasn't". His friend tried to kiss him and Kurt backed away and told his friend he was not gay but would still be friends with him. In a 1993 interview with The Advocate, Cobain claimed that he was "gay in spirit" and "probably could be bisexual." He also stated that he used to spray paint "God Is Gay" on pickup trucks in the Aberdeen area. However, Aberdeen police records show that the phrase for which he was arrested was actually "Ain't got no how watchamacallit".[26] One of his personal journals states, "I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes."[27]
Cobain however was often uncomfortable and frustrated, believing his message and artistic vision to have been misinterpreted by the public, with his personal issues often subject to media attention. He challenged Nirvana's audience with its final studio album In Utero (1993). During the last years of his life, Cobain struggled with heroin addiction, illness and depression. He also had difficulty coping with his fame and public image, and the professional and lifelong personal pressures surrounding himself and his wife, musician Courtney Love. On April 8, 1994, Cobain was found dead at his home in Seattle, the victim of what was officially ruled a suicide by a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the head. The circumstances of his death have become a topic of public fascination and debate. Since their debut, Nirvana, with Cobain as a songwriter, has sold over 25 million albums in the US alone, and over 50 million worldwide.[4][5]
The band name Nirvana was taken from the Buddhist concept, which Cobain described as "freedom from pain, suffering and the external world," which paralleled with the punk rock ethic and ideology. Cobain would regard himself as both a Buddhist and a Jain during different points of his life, educating himself about the philosophies through various sources, including through watching late night television documentaries on both subjects
I actually lied, I just found this today. But before reading that, and long before tonight, I started to really be facinated by him. He struggled with mental health issues and his music was so pained and sad. How we are avoidant of those who are bizarre, misfortuned and misrepresented, yet so many of those personality traits are within many celebrities (Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston, and Cobain). And I'm certain there are many other in the Hollywood bubble who grabble with that (Angelina Jolie, another of my favourites has struggled with cutting and drugs) and Robert Downey Jr or Jim Carey.
I hope you find Cobain as interesting as I have. Read more about at the website I gave you (above). It's about time mental health is regarded more importantly in music and the arts and considers all those who struggle with it to seek help and seek friendships that contribute to their well-being rather than to their downfall.
I found this last part on the significance on the history of the "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
Cobain began dating Tobi Vail, an influential DIY punk zinester of the riot grrrl band Bikini Kill. After meeting Vail, Cobain vomited as he was so completely overwhelmed with anxiety regarding his infatuation with her. This event would inspire the lyric: "Love you so much it makes me sick," which would appear in the song "Aneurysm".[42] While Cobain would regard Vail as his female counterpart, his relationship with her waned. Cobain desired the maternal comfort of a traditional relationship, which Vail regarded as sexist within a countercultural punk rock community. Those who dated Vail would be described by her friend Alice Wheeler as "fashion accessories."[43] Kurt and Tobi spent most of their time together as a couple discussing political and philosophical issues. Cobain's relationship with Vail would inspire the lyrical content of many of the songs on Nevermind. Once, while discussing anarchism and punk rock with friend Kathleen Hanna, Hanna spray-painted "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit" on Kurt's apartment wall. Teen Spirit was the name of a deodorant Vail wore; Hanna joked that Cobain smelled like it. Cobain, unaware of this, initially interpreted the slogan as having a revolutionary meaning. The slogan inspired the title to the song "Smells Like Teen Spirit".
If you are struggling with depression, thoughts of suicide or of any problems in your life, talk to you doctor, your parents or your friends. They can help steer you in the right direction. Also, if you live in the London, Ontario neighbourhood, see http://www.lhsc.on.ca/ and call the number there!
Be brave and be yourself :)
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